Hot spicy chai. Homemade, but in a Starbucks mug. It makes all the difference.
Pandora blasting out Sonicflood and MIKESCHAIR.
Well, not blasting because I can’t concentrate on writing if the music is too loud. 😉 Trust me.. it goes back to wall shaking levels as soon as the mouse hits the publish button.
I just spent a very needed, very emotional, and very healing 45 minutes with Jesus. I am full. For now. I am sure something will come along today to cause me to be empty. That is the way of this weary world. Amen? Grateful He is just a prayer away for a new fill up.
If you didn’t know, we started a church. This is our second attempt. The first attempt was 7 years ago, and while we learned a lot, we made an absolute mess of things. So much so, it would take a book of blog posts to explain to you. Thank God for redemption. For reals. But… just imagine our extreme hesitation to ever start another one though. Ever. Todd and I always joked that Jesus himself would have to come down and tell us in person to start another one.
Yeah, well, He did.
And He and He alone is moving mightily in this new thing. We stand back and are constantly overwhelmed by what He is doing in the town of Santee. I know we aren’t the only ones on an adventure with Jesus. It is just awesome to see it right in front of your face sometimes. Yes?
It does seem though.. that every single Monday or Tuesday, we come under fire. The enemy is nothing, if not predictable. I don’t know if you have ever been in a spot where you can almost feel evil against you, but we are there. So there. Your prayers of protection for the Tolson family would not be wasted.. in case you wanted to pray for us. 😉
Yesterday was a rough day. I can’t go into details, but just know, I was a wreck. The morning was completely heart breaking.. And I was sinking in a pit of despair. Fast. All this on my way to volunteer in my daughter’s class. I was crying. I didn’t want to spend time with 20 little people. I didn’t want to expend any energy. I wanted to lie down in my bed for about a month.
With my God blanket, you know, just so I could spiritualize the sleeping for 30 days thing..
I sensed I should just start thanking God for what I did have. That thought could not have possibly come from this burdened heart.. It was the farthest thing from my mind. I just plain didn’t want to. But I did it anyway.
The first thing I thought to be thankful for?? My Sephora lipgloss that I was wearing.
I know. There aren’t words, right? It was really pink and sparkly, y’all. You would be thankful for it too!
But as soon as that first one was out, I was overwhelmed with everything I have to be thankful for from a warm bed at night, to food on the table, to a working car, to a great school for our kiddos, to health, to being alive, to having the ability to speak my thanksgiving to Him, to even having a relationship with Him. His provision. His comfort. His shelter.
Believe me when I say.. the transformation of my heart was immediate. I’m not sure I have ever experienced that rapid of a heart change. From despair to joy, all because of the reminder to be thankful. This is not new information. I have heard many a sermon on thankfulness. But, it got personal yesterday, so I just had to share it with you.
And, I will leave you with this.
Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Whatever’s in front of me, help me to sing Hallelujah.