Just be good at what you’re good at..
This phrase has been stirring around my soul for a few weeks. The competition and comparison and measuring up that happens on the daily makes me want to tattoo this on my forehead. Backwards. So that I can remember truth every morning when I look in the mirror. It would be a good look, yes? Maybe some of you need the tattoo, aka reminder too. Or maybe it’s just me?
If you don’t already know.. I am married to a brilliant man. He literally is one of THE smartest people I have ever met, and he gives me great wisdom. We talk a lot. It’s more or less me talking, and him listening, but whatevs. No need to be all accurate and stuff. I am usually the one starting up the conversations, telling him about this new home remedy! or natural cure!, or this fantastic study on gene mutation!, or what Beth Moore’s videocast said that day!, or, or, or.. Research is my name, healing is my game. And, exclamation points are my life!
Yes, he’s a patient individual.
Sometimes our conversations frustrate me because we see life differently. He is the field marshal to my idealistic champion. He wins wars, and I help the wounded in battle. Yin and Yang. But, God ordained to mesh together. We get it right sometimes, and sometimes we don’t.
I read books like Redeeming Love and Nutritional Healing. He reads books like The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership and The Shark and the Goldfish. I have never read either book, but the hubs has a way of telling me about them when the information fits. (As well as I do, when he needs a good dose of some natural supplement or remedy).
It may be that I see a photographer kicking butt and taking names with 5000+ Facebook fans, stunning pictures that they don’t edit themselves, the latest greatest photography equipment, and, and, and.. and he smiles and says.. “Shark.” And, in my head, I whine, and ponder and wonder why that doesn’t happen for me.
It may be that I see an etsy shop owner with a great idea, that I had already thought of (nothing new under the sun), but this person thought of it, and then did it, and then sold it. He smiles and says.. “Shark.” And, in my head, I whine, and ponder, and wonder why that doesn’t happen for me.
For someone with huge insecurities, the comment can leave me feeling very inadequate. Because, I don’t know if you’ve met me, but there isn’t much shark in here.
I usually respond, with a chuckle, how goldfish like I am. We smile, but then, I come correct and declare.. If God wanted me to be a shark, He would have made me a shark!! And I declare it loudly too, sleeping kids and all. Declarations should be declared. I think the declaration is more for me than him. My husband already knows.. but sometimes.. I forget.
He doesn’t intend for his comment to stir all that up in me. It has nothing to do with him, and everything to do with how I view myself. To be fair.. our culture values/fears/respects sharks, and goldfish.. well.. they are very fragile and something that can be repurchased when the first, or tenth one dies. Goldfish are replaceable somethings that your child wins at the school fall fair. Sharks are scary, with big sharp teeth, aggressively getting the job done.
People generally move out of a shark’s way.
Now, maybe that particular book isn’t meant to cast down the goldfish and raise up the shark? I should probably read it. *Grin* I think it is meant to leave you with the message that goldfish wait for food to come to them (yes, yes, I do) and sharks go out and get their food (yes, yes he does.. Hilbertos, as a matter of fact). In our conversations, we joke about how very shark-esque God made my husband, and he can be aggressive. And how God made me more like a goldfish, and I can be so fragile. Neither one is useful in the extreme.
In all of my processing of this revelation, I have decided that there might just be a middle ground. And I am calling it a Dolphin. 😉
I think the truth is.. I used to be, and can be very much like a scared, fragile, tiny goldfish. Always waiting, helpless, hungry. Jesus, my husband, and good therapy have helped me find a less scared version of me. I don’t think everyone is supposed to be a shark, all day, erryday… Nor a goldfish. God made both, and loves both equally. He just refuses to leave us that way. A shark in all its sharky-ness and a goldfish in all its goldfishiness would be too much. One too scared, getting nothing done, hiding. One too aggressive, leaving dead bodies strewn about.
And, let’s not pretend this is a male/female thing. We all have known plenty of men and women, with shark in their veins, that can use their strength for good or evil. And their good is oh so good, while their evil hurts like heck, yes? And we all have known plenty of women and men, goldfish to the core, who hide behind something or someone out of fear. Some might go so far to say these people may have misplaced a vital anatomical part?
Not me.. I wouldn’t say that. Just some people might. 😉
The point? We all know this definition is no respecter of person or gender.
Let’s face facts.. I will never ever be a shark. Maybe you won’t either. But, as I continue to grow up, I’m learning that God is ok with me being good at what I’m good at. Period. I don’t have to strive to be a shark.. because that isn’t my DNA. I’m mostly a helper, and guess what? That is just what my family and my church need me to be. You can bet I do get a little sharkified when I hear someone gossip about my husband, or threaten my children, or try to destroy and slander the Church body. Watch out.. Mamma Shark doesn’t play. But, eventually it wears me out, and drains me, and I swim back toward my safe goldfish bowl after about 2.3 seconds.
Here’s the thing. Just in case you needed it. You have the permission to be good at what you are good at. Shark, dolphin, or goldfish, whatever mixture God created you to be. The idea isn’t to diminish you. Just hone it. Balance it. Less goldfish if you need to be. More sharky if you need to be.
And with that said, my shark has brought me an Iced Americano, so I’m out.
Just keep swimming? I think it’s better said… Just be good at what you’re good at.Pin It