Chris Tomlin is playing faintly in the background. The remnants of a delicious summer supper are waiting for me to clean them up. BBQ Chicken my hubs grilled up. Fresh from the garden Green Beans from a sweet friend. Crispy celery and bell peppers. Family sitting together. Laughing at silly jokes. My pre teen still wanting to pray over our dinner. My daughter in a pink tank top reading Magic Treehouse books.
Oh, it aches. But it is a good good ache.
These are the moments I am just over-joyed for. I don’t want to miss a second of it. I don’t want to be so caught up in other’s drama that I lose out on what is most important. This is why I have made the decision to deactivate my personal Facebook account. The decision was made a few weeks ago, but the unpleasant conversations I had over the past week nudged the date up some. I still have a public photography page, but I don’t have access to any friends or family.. on purpose. No walls to read, no news feeds to pour over, no unnecessary drama to wrap my feelings around.
Now.. this is not an easy decision for me to make. I’m a sanguine. I love being involved in people’s life. I love knowing what’s going on. I love people. And my huge fear in this has been that I will lose touch with a ton of people that I adore…But, God has made it clear that I’m not going to be able to sacrifice my emotional health for online connection. Huge fear or not.. And so, it has been done.
Healthy, real live person connection is what I am striving for. Actually drinking a cup of tea with a person across the table. Watching Bacherlorette with the bff’s. Visiting. Talking. Laughing. Living. Facebook is not bad.. it’s just bad for me right now. 🙂 I’m not strong enough to withstand it. Forgive me. 🙂
I hope you will find my public page and we can interact on there. I do have a cell phone. An email account. An address. I’m not gone.. it will just take a little more effort to find out how I’m doing, and the same can be said of me finding out how you are doing. Please don’t stop telling me how you are.. I want to know.
And now, I must run. Bacherlorette is on and the girls are waiting to watch it.
In the words of Sheri O’Teri as a Spartan cheerleader.. “Call Me!”